Growing apart? Here’s how couples can rekindle their connection

We all want our marriages to stay vibrant and connected. We want the sparks that ignited on our first dates to keep flying years after we’ve said “I do.”

Over time, many couples find themselves growing apart.

They lose interest in each others’ activities. Physical intimacy wanes. Partners spend little time together, eventually realizing they have nothing in common.

Growing apart in a relationship is a common and natural occurrence.

As we mature and our roles evolve within the family, it’s easy to find ourselves heading down uncharted and divergent paths.

For instance, a new career may necessitate more travel or a change in schedule. Or a physical injury might bring a halt to an activity you both shared.

We may also become so engrossed in our jobs, young children or outside interests that we lose sight of our loved ones’ needs.

Rather than being our primary focus. they become an afterthought or, even worse, a nuisance.

If not kept in check, growing apart can have devastating consequences for a marriage.

A 2012 study in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage found that 55% of divorcing couples cited growing apart as the primary reason for their breakups.

Fortunately, there are plenty of steps every couple can take to keep their relationship close.

Here’s how.

Schedule regular time together. Hire a babysitter once a week and go on a date night. Play pickleball every Saturday morning. Choosing an activity with a routine makes it more likely that you’ll show up for the marriage while demonstrating a commitment to your partner.

Declare phone-free periods. Nothing interrupts couples-time faster than a ping from an electronic device. Your attention is immediately diverted, and conversations come to a screeching halt. Silence all electronics for two hours every evening, or declare no-screen Sunday mornings.

Be romantic. Sexual frequency correlates closely to the overall health of a relationship. The more often couples engage in intimacy, the stronger their marital bonds. Make sex a top priority by being an eager and willing partner. Seek activities that are mutually pleasing and exciting. Schedule adults-only getaways where being amorous is the primary goal.

Find joint interests. Think back to the early days of your courtship and consider activities you once both enjoyed. Or consider a brand-new hobby — think kayaking or Italian cooking — that could reconnect you.

Be pleasant when you’re together. Constant bickering and sniping drives even the most dedicated partners away. Instead, make mutual kindness, respect and acceptance the norm. Learn to discuss differences calmly. Heal conflicts quickly.

Don’t give up. Keeping relationships viable and healthy takes ongoing effort, but the benefits are numerous and far-reaching. If you’ve grown apart, you can also grow back together. Hang in there.