SLO retiree is turning 70. Has she experienced a life well lived?

“Life, if well lived, is long enough.”

— Seneca (5 B.C. to 65 A.D.)

I’m celebrating a milestone birthday this week. I’m honored to add the title of septuagenarian to my resume.

While many of my similarly-aged friends are fretting about the passage of time — worrying that “I only have 15 good years left!” or “There’s not enough time to do everything on my bucket list!” — I find myself reflecting on the quality of my life rather than the duration.

When I assess how that journey is going, my thoughts center on four separate factors.

Does my life have meaning?

Meaning is unique to each individual and changes throughout our lives.

For instance, meaning to a young person might be found in competing in a soccer league or getting a summer job.

Meaning to an adult might be establishing a career, leading a scout troop or buying a home.

Meaning creates an internal structure and drives us to interact with our world. A life without meaning feels empty and may be a cause of depression.

I definitely found meaning in my career as a family therapist and writer. I also loved being a mother and raising my sons.

Does my life feel balanced?

Like any giant puzzle, there are numerous pieces that fit together and make us feel whole. Sometimes those pieces work in harmony; at other times they seem at odds.

Keeping these disparate facets content and nourished can be both challenging and contradictory.

I was fortunate to have a stimulating, flexible career that allowed me ample time with my family. So, yes, life was often in balance.

Do I feel loved?

According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, people reporting close relationships with their friends and families are healthier and happier than their less connected counterparts.

They also experience slower cognitive decline as they age.

I’m lucky to be in a close-knit clan and have a wonderful network of friends.

Do I feel joy?

Joy is similar, yet different, from happiness.

Happiness is an instant sensation of pleasure, often triggered by specific things, events or thoughts.

Joy, on the other hand, is a deeper sense of contentment that is independent of circumstances and, therefore, less transient.

Joy is a mindset I work to cultivate through a combination of gratitude and thought-calming strategies.

Trust me, I’m not always joyful! But I do my best to keep it within reach.

Of course, my life is far from perfect.

I make mistakes on a daily basis. I’m maddened by regrets. There are boatloads of people I’d like to beg for forgiveness.

Unfortunately, many are no longer living to hear my apologies.

Those sorrows and disappointments mean I’m human. They’ve instilled in me a profound sense of humility.

I now count them among the sources of wisdom I’ve accrued over 70 years.

I prefer not to focus on my perceived failings and instead contemplate the way that I’m running my life.

If I ultimately deem that manner to be satisfactory, then my life will have been well lived. And, if well-lived, according to Seneca, it will always be enough.