Family barbecue was ‘as good as life gets.’ Here’s how to pave the way for magic moments

My whole family recently gathered for a barbecue on our patio.

What was once a common summer event is now a rare and special occasion since our children have grown up and moved away.

I stood back and watched the scene unfold: my adult sons reveling in their time together, the grandkids cruising playfully from one activity to the next, my husband and daughter-in-law working their magic at the grill.

Suddenly I was overcome with the sensation that this is as good as life gets.

In that instant, I was surrounded by an ether of gratitude, satisfaction and love. I was grateful for my countless blessings. I was pleased that my adult kids are great friends.

My heart ached with adoration for every member of our clan.

Such peak experiences are magical. They arise when we least expect them, when we’re so absorbed in a positive moment that nothing interferes with our thoughts or senses.

Peak experiences are also fleeting.

We can’t hold on to them. They wash over us like a tide and, just as quickly, they vanish.

In fact, any attempt to prolong those experiences, such as taking photos or shooting videos, can interfere with the very emotion we hope to capture.

“As good as life gets” moments don’t mean that our lives are perfect — far from it!

We grapple with the same daily challenges that every other household faces.

Rather, they imply a momentary level of acceptance that things are okay as they are.

Yes, a loved one may have cancer, or a child may be struggling in school.

This is what I have available to me now. and I am thoroughly contented with my lot.

Such positive emotions have a profound effect on our physical and mental well-being. Research shows that positive emotions decrease stress, rid the body of toxic emotions, improve sleep and boost self-esteem.

At the same time, they direct our psychic energies away from negative thoughts and behaviors such as complaining about our spouses, hating our jobs or feeling unattractive.

While we can’t plan for peak experiences, we can increase their likelihood.

Here’s how:

Allow ample quiet time. Let go of the cultural pressure to be overscheduled. Instead, carve out opportunities to meditate, relax in a hammock, read a book, rock a sleeping baby or talk with a friend.

Keep things simple. Excessive planning creates unnecessary stress for planners and participants alike. Look for ways to make your life more user friendly.

Maintain a healthy perspective. Happiness is part of the human spectrum of emotions, but so are disappointment, frustration and grief. Accept them all as they occur, knowing no emotion is permanent.

Keep expectations to a minimum. Life is inherently messy. Some events are lovely. Others are simply disastrous. Do what you can to make things successful, then accept what comes your way.

Plant positive mental seeds. Find joy throughout your day. Make note of tiny miracles. Remind yourself that you are enough. Cultivating positive traits, such as gratitude, happiness and acceptance, makes your mind fertile for peak experiences whenever they might crop up.