‘Jolly good.’ Prince Harry, Meghan Markle show how new couples should deal with families

The world reacted as if they’d been broadsided by an bus when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced they were planning to “step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family.”

Citing a gold chalice worth of issues, including racism, loneliness and memories of Princess Diana, the Sussexes have decided to split time between North America and the United Kingdom with the goal of focusing “on the next chapter” of their lives.

Although reportedly surprised by the decision, the royal family appears to be taking the news with grace. I say, “Jolly good!”

In many ways, this young couple is nothing special. Sure, they have royal titles and a grandmother who is the queen of England.

But every set of newlyweds must go through a period of separation from their elders. They need to determine for themselves who they are, what they value and how they’ll manage finances.

This process can create consternation in their respective households.

Parents might perceive adult children as being ungrateful or think that they’re rejecting the guidance and advantages with which they’ve been raised.

It can be especially difficult for large, close-knot clans who expect that successive generations will continue established traditions. For instance, moms and dads might assume kids will work in the family business, practice the faith or reside in the family residence.

If grown children decide to go in a different direction, they may be met with not-so-subtle pressure to shape up. Even worse, they risk being shunned by loved ones for not behaving as expected.

The situation becomes even more convoluted when a newly arrived daughter- or son-in-law is not in lockstep with the group. They’re often blamed for breaking up the family or leading new spouses astray.

Ideally, the couple is able to pull together in the face of the dissention and present their decision as a cohesive unit. Although the spouses may feel torn between their families of origin and the new partner they’ve aligned with, their job is to stand with their mates.

If that’s in fact what Prince Harry is doing, he’s setting a good example for all newlyweds to follow.

Now, I certainly don’t have any insight into the royal family. Nor do I wish to opine on issues that are none of my business.

But I do have 30 years’ experience as a family therapist and I know how new couples can deal with their parents when making unpopular decisions.

How new couples should deal with families

Treat your families with respect and sensitivity. Loved ones may need time to adapt to your plan or process their feelings about the impending changes. Be patient and kind.

Express appreciation. Thank family members for their years of love and care. Focus on the many issues on which you all still agree.

Be firm about your goals. Lay out your plans with clarity and conviction.

You don’t need to have all the answers. But firmness will let parents know you mean business.

Spend time together. Have fun together as a family. Visit and call often. Make it clear you still plan to be in their lives.

Act like an adult. You are moving away from your family of origin because you are mature and ready to make important decisions. Demonstrate that wisdom in both your gestures and your words.