Students say Paso High’s new restrictions on Pride flag mean the haters win
October 11 is National Coming Out Day, when lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people can celebrate support for LGBTQ equality. But in Paso Robles, where we attend high school, we cannot celebrate. Too often, LGBTQ students feel unwelcome, unsafe and targeted by hate.
Recently, a rainbow flag was stolen from a PRHS classroom, taken to the bathroom, and defecated on. A video of the hateful act was posted on Tik Tok and was widely circulated on social media.
For decades the Pride flag has symbolized inclusion, diversity and beauty for LGBTQ people. The attack on the flag was an attack on our security as students, and deserved a firm condemnation. Instead, for nearly two weeks, school authorities were largely silent on the matter. The hate crime was ignored, and queer PRHS students were left believing school authorities condoned this act of blatant homophobia. The silence was heartbreaking and scary. The school should have immediately denounced the flag attack, and let us know that hatred and bigotry against LGBTQ students is not acceptable at PRHS.
Eventually, the school imposed minor discipline upon the offenders, and nearly two weeks later issued a policy statement that includes a ban on rainbow flags larger than 2’ x 2’. As the standard flag size is 3’ x 5’, the school purposefully banned the very flag that was desecrated. What message does this send to students? The flag ban means the school has allowed the haters to win, while LGBTQ students feel punished for wanting to be seen and supported.
When you are a high school student in the LGBTQ community, you walk into every classroom and school bathroom not knowing if you’ve entered a safe space. You endure angry stares, hurtful comments, and relentless assaults of microaggressions that erode our mental health and self confidence. It is exhausting. It is oppressive. It is unacceptable. And so we’re coming out against hate.
A 2017 countywide study of high school students (California Healthy Kids Survey) revealed alarming rates of bullying directed at LGBTQ youth in SLO County, as well as climbing rates of suicidal thoughts. A recent national study found that 40% of LGBTQ youth had “seriously considered” suicide in the past year. We are struggling, and school leaders need to recognize this is a life or death issue.
A 2018 oral history project at PRHS interviewed students at Templeton, Atascadero and Paso Robles high schools. They found that offensive slurs and open hostility directed at LGBTQ+ individuals were commonplace in classrooms. LGBTQ+ students reported not feeling included in their school culture. Students interviewed reported that teachers who wore rainbow colored pins or posted supportive flags or posters in their classroom walls helped create welcoming, safe spaces.
Over the years, PRHS has witnessed loss of life, violence and intimidation — all in the name of anti-LGBTQ hate. Enough is enough.
How many more students will be traumatized by systems and people who fail to embrace the beauty and diversity of their students? The school’s response is a collective slap in the face of all LBGTQ students at PRHS. From our perspective, the school’s flag ban means they’re more interested in appeasing the bullies than protecting the safety of the victims of hate. We seek a school that allows LGBTQ students to learn without fear. We breathe a sigh of relief with every “I am an ally” poster and every rainbow flag we see. But for now, all we feel is punishment for the acts of hate against us.
And so we are coming together to host a community forum on Oct. 20 called “Coming Out Against Hate,” from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Performing Arts Center of Paso Robles High School. We will join others in telling our stories, challenging acts of hate and calling on our leaders to do better. We invite other teachers, students, parents and friends to join us in this important work.
We choose to respond to hate with courage, love, community, and truth. We hope others will take this opportunity to come out and come together to confront hate.
Ava Hughes, Genevieve Grimes, Danny Perez, Eve Barajas and Ella Mitchell are students at PRHS and participants in the “Coming Out Against Hate” forum on Oct. 20 at PRHS. Eve Barajas is president of the Equity Club at PRHS.
This story was originally published October 11, 2021 at 5:30 AM with the headline "Students say Paso High’s new restrictions on Pride flag mean the haters win."