How to survive these troubled times: Let go of ‘politics of division,’ says SLO mayor

What a time to be alive.

For many, these last few months have been the most challenging of our lives. I feel it and I know you do, too.

The concern for the health of our families, this community, and our world. The heart-wrenching pain and suffering. The gut-punch to our economy, hearing the stories of small business owners as they make the tough decisions about how — and if — to keep going. The conversations with families as they grapple with what is best for their kids, and how to find balance as they continue working and schooling from home. The ache deep in my bones that comes with the physical disconnection from friends, parents and each other. The much-forgotten but still looming threat of climate crisis whispering in the background. The uprising for racial justice is calling us all to radical change, individually and collectively to transform ourselves into the country we promised, where “all ‘men’ are created equal.”

With all of these trials and tribulations, there is no bigger threat we face than the level of division in this country.

We have a clear choice. We can perpetuate the division that is leading to our collective demise, or we can instead have the courage to be vulnerable enough to recognize and celebrate our interconnectedness and do the difficult and essential work of healing the divide.

In this time of uncertainty, there’s a growing desire to do things differently, and as we look to leadership of various types for the answers, it becomes more and more clear that we must also look inside ourselves. Whether we like it or not, we are connected, interconnected and our fates are linked. Climate change, COVID and racial injustice bring this essential truth to light.

At this moment, when we are individually trying to protect what we have and what we believe to be true, we have stopped listening to each other. We have lost the curiosity of our youth and have fossilized our thinking. One of the most profound things I heard recently from a young activist was not about racism, but rather about having a growth mindset. The next generation understands that this is the key; being open-hearted, open-minded and open to hearing the so-called “other side.”

Bereft of this ability, we are doomed to fight our way into the destruction of all that we hold so dear, including the destruction of the planet itself. It is only through listening that we can see our commonalities and our shared concerns. The lack of nuance in our current climate is dangerous for everyone. It stifles a process of robust civic dialogue across differences where we can reach for each other’s common threads to tie together the solutions that we so desperately need in this historic moment.

Through transformational collaboration, we can create shared prosperity and a community of belonging. But we can’t do that alone. We are each other’s only hope to get out- to get through. And we will get through this.

History has shown us that moments of disruption can create an opening for powerful social solidarity and transformational change. Like other moments in history when our ancestors faced seemingly insurmountable hardships, they shared an experience of deep meaning. We have a chance for redemption and re-imagining what it is to be human and what it is to be San Luis Obispo. We can and we are daring to reimagine, reinvent and reconcile.

None of this is about perfection, but instead about progress. We’re called to do the best we can while embracing a nuanced interpretation of what the right thing to do might be. We cannot shame each other into goodness. Shame is not useful; it’s harmful and dehumanizing. Whether it’s shaming each other over the use or non-use of masks or shaming each other over saying the wrong thing, shame precludes the idea that we can change or do better. Let’s call each other up instead of calling each other out. When we cause harm let’s have the courage to be present and bare witness and choose to do better. And when we see each other causing harm, let’s have the loving thoughtfulness to let people know in a constructive and solution-oriented way.

In the heat of this destruction, we are forging community. Healing this divide will not be easy, but as I always tell my kids, a good life and an easy life are not the same things. We can create a good life here in SLO by letting go of the politics of division and instead embracing a politics of belonging. This will be the most difficult task of our lives, and let’s do it by turning towards each other and not on each other.

Heidi Harmon is serving her second term as mayor of San Luis Obispo.