Letters to the Editor

Warning: Exercise caution before reading The Tribune editorial page

Amazing but true: The Tribune does run some pro-Trump commentary on its opinion page.
Amazing but true: The Tribune does run some pro-Trump commentary on its opinion page. The Washington Post

I suddenly felt lightheaded, but perhaps I had simply stood up too suddenly, I thought, just moments before the full attack ensued: waves of stars, dizziness, sudden nausea. I dropped The Tribune and crumpled onto the floor. Darkness.

I awoke with two paramedics nodding down at me, relieved I had regained consciousness.

“Take it easy, you’ll be fine now; we have experience dealing with this sort of thing,” the tall one assured me.

I felt a needle and looked up at the IV bag over my head. The label said, Luponic Distortion. All I knew was that I was feeling much better.

“Pretty amazing, the response we get with this stuff,” said the tall paramedic, “you should be fine now.”

“What happened?” I asked, rubbing my temples, still a bit woozy.

“Your newspaper was open to the editorial page, triage was easy, the column header told us what happened.” The tall one went on to explain the page contained an editorial openly praising the President; Donald Trump. I was their fifth call of the day, and it wasn’t yet noon, he added.

“Pro-Trump? In The Tribune? That’s impossible!” I exclaimed, having no memory of what had happened.

“Yep, nobody can believe it,” the tall guy answered, “we didn’t think it was possible, either, but there it is...” The other paramedic looked at Tall Guy with a cautionary glance that said, please don’t trigger a relapse. Tall Guy nodded silently, picked up my fallen newspaper and balled it into a biohazard bag, to be safety disposed of later.

Wow... I thought. As they walked back to their truck, I called out, “Hey, what’s Luponic Distortion?”

Tall Guy smiled, “Oh, that’s prescription only, very powerful stuff...but I guess I can make an exception.” He handed me a script with the numbers 805 on it, gave a short salute and a smile as he left.

Bruce Curtis, Los Osos

Editor’s Note: We exercised our discretion to allow an exceedance of the 200-word limit for letters in order to bring you this important health warning.