Which person on the following list of “Dancing with the Stars” contestants will soon be in charge of our country’s nuclear programs? The new secretary of energy will be: (1) Geraldo Rivera (2) Vanilla Ice (3) George Hamilton (4) Marla Maples (5) Tom DeLay (6) Penn Jillette (7) Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino (8) Jerry Springer (9) David Hasselhoff (10) Chaz Bono (11) Rick Perry (12) Bill Nye (13) Tommy Chong (14) Gary Busey (15) Babyface.
The Department of Energy was created in 1977 primarily to ensure the safe handling of our nuclear resources and weapons. Accordingly, the current secretary, Dr. Ernest Moniz, has a Ph.D. in theoretical physics from Stanford University, and the previous secretary, Dr. Steven Chu, has a Ph.D. in physics from UC Berkeley.
Oops — I almost forgot — the answer to the question is Rick Perry. Mr. Perry has a degree in animal science from Texas A&M, and, if you look at his transcript, you will see that he had a 1.88 GPA (D+) average in the science courses in his major. What could possibly go wrong?
Lee Van Leeuwen, San Luis Obispo