Congressman Devin Nunes is suing Twitter and a pretend cow. And he’s just getting started

Who is Devin Nunes?

Devin Nunes is a Republican representative for California’s 22nd congressional district.
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Devin Nunes is a Republican representative for California’s 22nd congressional district.

Devin Nunes is nobody’s fool.

By filing a bizarre, $250 million lawsuit against Twitter and an imaginary cow, the Republican congressman from the Central Valley has set himself apart from the herd of Washington politicos and all those other Donald Trump fanboys.

Look at all that free publicity: The lawsuit provided fodder for late-night talk shows; made headlines in every major U.S. daily; inspired a gaggle of puns, poems and T-shirts; and for two shakes of a lamb’s tail, took our collective mind off Admissionsgate.

Why, Devin hasn’t had this much attention since he tried to make hay with that “secret memo” alleging abuses by the FBI. But aside from Devin Nunes’ mom, who remembers that?

But this! This brilliant moove has secured Devin’s place in the annals of weird-but-true U.S. history. A lawsuit against a pretend cow ranks right up there with Dan Quayle’s misspelling of “potato” (he put an “e” on the end); Elizabeth Warren’s DNA test; and Donald Trump’s strange hairdo.

And this is just Act 1. Nunes created suspense by promising that this is the first of many lawsuits against social media platforms, so stay tuned!

True, the lawsuit has done great things for @Devincow, which now has more followers than Devin Nunes’ own Twitter account. But that’s a small price to pay for all this attention. In fact, we wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Nunes himself is the mastermind behind the cow account. (Note to Nunes’ attorneys: That was a joke.)

And don’t think for a minute that Nunes doesn’t realize his lawsuit is garbage. It doesn’t take any highfalutin lawyers with fancy degrees to tell him that.

Take his allegation that Twitter censors Republicans. That’s obviously bogus.

Exhibit A: Donald Trump. He has 59.2 million Twitter followers. And the only reason he doesn’t have far more followers is because every single news outlet in the country (and many overseas ones as well) broadcast and dissect his every tweet. Doesn’t exactly sound like censorship, does it?

As for allegations that @Devincow and the now defunct account “Devin Nunes’ Mom” posted insults that caused the congressman pain and anguish “that no human being should ever have to bear and suffer in their whole life,” well, that’s a whole lot of bull-oney.

These are parodies.

Parody — which obviously is not meant to be taken literally — is protected speech.

Otherwise, how would Nunes have gotten away with that infamous, 40-page mailer that attacked our sister paper, The Fresno Bee?

In case you missed it, we’ll let the Bee’s Marek Warsawski tell you about it:

“Remember the mailer’s cover? It depicts a ship dashing against rocks with cartoon bees aboard drinking Kool-Aid while “Resist” and “Socialism” placards bob in the ocean surf. On the back, the ship’s broken hull now contains The Bee’s masthead. All the little bees have drowned.”

And now Nunes is whining about a fake cow poking fun at him?

If that’s not enough hypocrisy for you, this is coming from a congressman who cosponsored a bill called Discouraging Frivolous Lawsuits Act.

Warsawski, by the way, has Nunes’ number: “Nunes is no dummy.” (Of course not! He’s a Cal Poly grad.)

“He knows what he’s doing is legally bogus. The only reason to file it is for attention it gets him.”

That, and campaign contributions.

And remember, Nunes says this suit is just the beginning. So hold on to those reins, cowpokes. We’re in for a heck of a ride to 2020.

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