They had their day, but some trends have outlived their usefulness. As we welcome in a new year, can we please, please say goodbye to these not-so-fresh fads:
Zombies: With apologies to “The Walking Dead” and “The Talking Dead” let’s allow zombies to rest in peace, shall we?
Rehashing the 2016 presidential election: It’s over, people. It really is time to move on — except for the whole Russia meddling thing — so take down your “Hillary for Prison” signs and start focusing on 2020.
MAGA caps: See above.
Mean girl lit: The good-girl-gone-bad genre was fun for awhile, but you lost us after “The Girl on The Train.”
Sympathy tweets, especially if you’re president of the United States: Sorry, but tweeting “thoughts and prayers” is as meaningless as it is lazy. If you’re really sorry, make a phone call, maybe give a hug or send over a meal. And if you can’t be there in person, mail a hand-written note. Don’t know what to say? Then buy a greeting card.
Excusing sexual harassment: Save your “buts.” There is no excuse.
Comparing anyone to Hitler: You may not like Trump, but he is not Hitler. Not even close.
Antifa: You are making the resistance look bad. And your name is hard to pronounce.
Books that tell us what to do, see and read before we die: Venice, Amsterdam, Tibet, Rio and the Taj Mahal? Many of us will be lucky to get to the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls.
Marketing $500,000 homes as “affordable housing”: No, they really aren’t affordable, especially when you add the property taxes, insurance and homeowner association fees.
Bacon, bacon and more bacon: Bacon is fine next to scrambled eggs, in a BLT or even on a cheeseburger. But we don’t need bacon bandages, bacon-flavored soda or bacon-scented candles.
Overpriced cell phones, jeans and juices: $1,000 for a cell phone ... $200 for ripped jeans ... and $7 for a single serving of fancy juice? Have we lost our collective mind? If we just stop buying, maybe they’ll cut the prices.
Millennial bashing: So what if they’re still living in their parents’ basements? You would too if you made $12 an hour and one-bedroom apartments rented for $1,200 per month.
Talking in text: Stop with the LOLs, OMGs and BRBs. If you’re talking IRL (in real life), just say the words.
Hazing: Sadly, college kids are still dying in hazing incidents. Once and for all, it must stop.
Kale: Sure, it’s healthy, but between the kale chips, the kale salads, the kale soups and the kale smoothies, we’re kaled out.
Macarons: They look way better than they taste. Can we stick with macaroons, please?
TV series that make us wait too long between seasons: Yes, we are talking about you “Game of Thrones.”
Speculation about celebrities’ “baby bumps”: If they wanted us to know they’re pregnant, they would tell us.
The marketing of mindfulness: Candles, coloring books, kids’ games, even a deck of cards with mindfulness activities. Pretty soon, mindfulness will be as ubiquitous as bacon.
Aggressive flight crews: Sometimes customers are uncooperative, but that does not give airlines the right to have them dragged off the plane.
Comparing real-life incidents to a “Seinfeld” episode: It was a great show, but it last aired in 1998. That’s nearly 20 years ago, which means terms like “sponge-worthy” are no longer in the lexicon.
News stories that rehash “Saturday Night Live”: We can watch the YouTube clip. We don’t have to go to The New York Times to read a blow-by-blow account of SNL’s skit bashing Donald Trump and Matt Lauer.
Dumb online quizzes: Not only do they suck up our valuable work time, they have the nerve to tell us that of all the characters in the Harry Potter universe, we are most like Hagrid. Not that there’s anything wrong with that — we were just hoping for Hermione.
Listicles: Can we just go back to calling them lists?