Eat or spend too much over the holidays? Experts offer tips to help you conquer guilt

It’s true. Holiday guilt is real. From overeating our favorite snowman-shaped cookies to seeing our account balance dwindle from holiday shopping, we can find overindulging to be a holiday stressor.

Dr. Andrea Bonior, licensed clinical psychologist and host of the podcast “Baggage Check,” told McClatchy News that holiday guilt “packs more of a punch” than the guilt someone might experience throughout the year.

“Having the right traditions, meeting the family, getting the exact right gifts. Or even the expectation of holiday magic, you feel like you fall short of that,” Bonior said. “I think there’s a lot of baggage.”

Experts have shared some tricks for those who find themselves feeling guilty after overspending or overeating during the holiday season.

How to combat overeating-induced guilt

Bonior says to be flexible with the expectations you put on yourself throughout the holidays.

“People who can’t be flexible end up feeling so much worse not just because they feel more guilt but because they think ‘well I’ve already screwed up,’” Bonior, who is also an adjunct professor at Georgetown University, added.

Don’t approach the holidays with an “all or nothing” mentality. Remember this is a time of celebration so you should allow yourself some “wiggle room,” she said.

“It’s really a time to allow yourself to indulge some. Having some indulgence is really what makes the holidays special,” Bonior said.

It’s OK to enjoy your favorite holiday treats, and if you do feel as though you’re overeating, make sure you don’t skip meals after the holidays to compensate, the Mayo Clinic says.

Dealing with overspending guilt

Overeating isn’t the only cause of holiday guilt. Overspending to ensure a whimsical season can also result in those not so great feelings.

Michelle Tascoe, a financial life coach based out Los Angeles, helps her clients approach the holidays in a proactive way.

“I’ve seen an increase in food delivery during the holiday season, most people don’t want to leave to get food and there’s a sense of taking a break and not wanting to cook,” which can be more expensive than cooking, Tascoe said.

New Year’s Eve is among the most popular holidays for food deliveries, according to data from apps Grubhub and DoorDash.

People come to Tascoe after already deciding they want to start budgeting. For those with a tighter budget, they can opt for a cheaper way to celebrate the holidays or ring in the new year.

• Make gifts just be something for the kids.

• Consider DIY presents.

• Consider fun activities that include the entire family like cookie decorating.

• If you want to host, consider making it pot-luck style.

For those who do want to give gifts to everyone, Tascoe has her clients come up with the total dollar amount they plan on spending during the holidays ahead of time, something people can start in the new year.

“I’ll have them set aside that dollar amount. So if they plan on spending $600, you’d divide that by 12 and you’ll put $50 aside each month,” Tascoe said.

Tascoe said by the time Christmas comes, it’s guilt-free spending.

How to prepare mentally for next year

“I think it’s important to note that the holidays approaching bring up a lot of anxiety for people,” Bonior said. “Know that your feelings are normal but also know that you don’t have to be on some treadmill of holiday activities that don’t feel right to you.”

It’s important to note where the root of your anxiety is coming from. Is it the stress? The idea of being really busy? Being around certain family members?

Once the underlying reason behind the anxiety is identified, you can take proactive steps to prepare.

“You can write a script with an exit plan in place for those difficult conversations you may not want to have with family members,” Bonior said.

For those who experience holiday guilt or anxiety, both Bonior and Tascoe urge people to remember that they aren’t the only ones feeling this way.

“The whole point of a holiday is supposed to be connection, compassion, all of that, so if we’re finding ourselves being a mess about it, we’re getting away from what the point of it is,” Bonior said.

This story was originally published December 30, 2022 at 6:00 AM with the headline "Eat or spend too much over the holidays? Experts offer tips to help you conquer guilt."