Joetopia

Election cycle never ends for politicians near and far

Joe Tarica is the senior editor for The Tribune. Reach him at jtarica@thetribunenews.com or on Twitter @joetarica.
Joe Tarica is the senior editor for The Tribune. Reach him at jtarica@thetribunenews.com or on Twitter @joetarica.

The ink on the final November election results had barely dried before it seemed a whole mess of people began scribbling prospective 2016 office titles before their names to see how they fit.

Like 3rd District Supervisor Debbie Peterson.

Or state Sen. Katcho Achadjian.

Or President Ted Cruz.

Perish the thought on that last one.

I’m not sure which is worse, the far-fetched notion that Cruz could end up in the Oval Office or the fact that we have to listen to him chirping at us from star-spangled podiums for the better part of the next two years.

It used to be that politicians gave us a break after Election Day, their arms as exhausted from slinging mud as our thumbs were at changing the channel to avoid their commercials.

But now, it’s like one never-ending campaign filled with posturing and speculation interspersed with periodic trips to kiss the rings of the wealthy king-makers whose money makes the election world go ’round.

It was bad enough when we only had to endure this on the national scene, but it’s spread everywhere these days, down to municipal boards and councils.

In San Luis Obispo, Dan Carpenter recently announced he also will challenge Adam Hill for the 3rd District supervisor seat.

Does he really have to decide this now? Is there that much of a complicated case to be made that he needs a year and a half to convince voters?

And the premature electoral declarations don’t stop with the parade of candidates.

We get it on the ballot initiatives as well. See the so-called “Sodomite Suppression Act,” the brainchild of a quack lawyer from Orange County who wants to make intercourse between members of the same sex illegal and punishable “by bullets to the head or by any other convenient method.”

I can see why he’s filing now, because he’ll need until hell freezes over to get this qualified.

I know we like to keep the initiative process wild and open, but I think we could set a low hurdle that no measures advocating genocide be allowed.

If our protections of free speech can have clauses against yelling “Fire!” in a crowded theater, then certainly our ballot process should be able to block initiatives that shout “Kill!” against an entire group of innocent people.

Or is it too much to ask that the government be allowed to ignore shameful displays of homicidal human indecency?

Matthew McLaughlin needs to gather 366,000 signatures to get his hateful gem on the November 2016 ballot. If he gets 36, that will be 35 too many.

It remains to be seen whether state Attorney General Kamala Harris will be able to prevent the proposed measure from acquiring even the lowest form of official recognition, which amounts to the state giving it a formal name and summary prior to signature gathering. She asked a court for that power last week.

In the meantime, McLaughlin should be disbarred, given a copy of “And Tango Makes Three” and set adrift on a rickety raft for some chilly corner of Antarctica where he can wallow in his uncivilized thoughts among the penguins while attempting to evolve to their level.

Perhaps his cold heart can help refreeze the polar ice cap.

Meanwhile, maybe I should pursue a ballot measure mandating exile for behavior like his.

Call it the “Troglodyte Relocation and Education Act.”

Only 19 months till Election Day. … The time to start is now.

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