There's no upside to waiting, especially when it's your own fault

I hate waiting.

The only thing I hate more than waiting is waiting caused by inefficiency and/or poor planning and/or stupid people, a combination of all three being by far the worst, especially when the stupid person is me.

For the last few weeks, I feel like every time I walk out the front door, I end up in a line somewhere, which, depending on its length seems like purgatory when it’s actually hell. It started the week before Thanksgiving when our family vacation kicked off with a red-eye flight out of LAX.

I wasn’t wild about driving four hours and then catching a plane at 10 minutes short of 1 a.m., but at least, I thought, the airport experience would be mellow at that unholy time of night.

That thought lasted all the way to the moment we pulled up at Terminal 2 to see the entire area deserted except for the tail end of one very long line snaking up the sidewalk, through the doors and back and forth multiple times before arriving morosely at a counter staffed by only a handful of agents.

I had prepared as much as humanly possible for an easy airport experience. I checked in early that day, confirmed the flight was on time, entered all of our passport information and printed boarding passes.

There was only one thing I had left to do, which was check one bag for four people. One.

If I could, I would have thrown the thing on the conveyor belt myself and run. Instead, we had to wait an hour and a half because the airline hadn’t brought in enough people to properly process two flights leaving nearly simultaneously in the middle of the night.

And when we got to the counter, the woman repeated that whole check-in process! Why did I waste my time? Where are the self-service kiosks? Why can’t I just print out a sticker for my bag and go? Argh.

By the way, the bag didn’t even make it on the plane.

When we got to our destination, we had to go pick up our rental car, which meant more waiting. That line was a mere two people long, but it took a full hour because both seemed intent on debating every insurance option under the Mexican sun.

At one point, Little Miss Ninth-Grader put her head down on her suitcase and promptly fell asleep, having been awake for 36 hours straight. She woke up suddenly 15 minutes later with an impression of her bag and a surprised look on her face.

The surprise should have been for the fact that I hadn’t moved one inch in the line, but I think it was simply how dramatically exhaustion had seized her.

A few days later, I incomprehensibly locked my one key in the trunk of the rental car. Remember what I said about stupid people?

So I called the company and set up a time to meet them at the hotel lobby.

I waited. The time came and went.

I called them again. They said they were there, couldn’t find me and left. They would be back in 15 minutes.

I waited more, scanning each incoming car for a dude in a blue polo shirt. A half hour passed. I called them again. Ten minutes, they said.

Remember what I mentioned about purgatory? Eventually, the guy did arrive. Hallelujah.

Fast forward to Tuesday, and I’m at the car dealership getting some recall work done. But I need a ride to work. The shuttle will be back in 15 minutes, the service guy says. It’s a 20-minute walk to work. Should I wait or go?

I wait. Twenty minutes pass. Then 30. I ask, where’s the shuttle? Five minutes, they say. I watch every incoming vehicle for a minivan. After a total of 45 minutes, it finally arrives. Why didn’t I just walk?

I needed the recall work performed in order to register the car. But when I got home to send in the paperwork, the form was inexplicably missing! It was just here!

I try the website, because you can register super easily that way. That is, unless you have a recall. I’m “ineligible,” the site tells me.

I try the phone. The automated response tells me the estimated wait is … 45 to 56 minutes. Are you kidding me?

With no other option, I must make a trip to the DMV office, and is there anywhere you’d rather go less if you’re fed up with waiting?

The lady at the first counter gives me a number so I can wait for one of the 16 other counters, two-thirds of which are empty.

It will be 15 or 20 minutes, she says. But there are 13 people ahead of me! No way. I eventually gave up after a half-hour and left.

I went back to the DMV on Friday. The wait that day was only 15 minutes. But they couldn’t complete the registration because the dealership hadn’t given me the right document.

The kindly man behind counter 15 is very sympathetic and gives me an envelope. I can pay now and just send in the form.

Coincidentally, right before that, I had stopped at the Post Office to get some stamps. It wasn’t open yet, but the kiosk worked flawlessly.

No waiting. Witness the efficiency!

Later, I mailed in my form. Someone else can wait for it. I’m done.

A tiny bit of my soul is thrilled.

This story was originally published December 13, 2014 at 5:19 PM with the headline "There's no upside to waiting, especially when it's your own fault."