Trying to buy toilet paper at Costco ... only 4 rolls left at home ... situation growing dire
Editor’s note: The following is one consumer’s account of life in coronavirus times. It is not a reflection on the seriousness of the pandemic or its widespread health threats. It is a reflection on the inclination by some people to escalate a troublesome but manageable situation into something bordering on the End of Days. Thank you for reading.
Day 1: Time to buy some toilet paper
Thursday, March 5, 2020
Noticed today that the 30-pack of Kirkland toilet paper has dwindled. Down from a five-story stack of TP (six rolls per story) to one.
Time to pick up a new package at Costco tomorrow.
Heard about runs on toilet paper and other stuff thanks to people freaking out about coronavirus, but we don’t have any cases here, so I’m hoping the San Luis Obispo store hasn’t been affected.
Day 2: First visit to Costco
Friday, March 6, 2020
The best time to visit Costco is on a Friday night after work. It’s my happy place. No lines at the gas station. No crowds in the store. Just aisle after wide-open aisle of treasures to be sought and discovered.
I’m usually just there to pick up our weekly supply of avocados, bananas, orange juice, bread and other staples. Maybe a nice fillet of wild salmon for an easy weeknight dinner.
In between, I like to wander around looking for three things: astounding new products, random amazing deals on clothes and spectacular clearance items, like the $12 packs of stainless steel Cuisinart knives I found before Christmas.
I absolutely don’t need more knives. Still, couldn’t pass up that deal.
Made it to the back of the store to grab the toilet paper. All that’s there is a vast empty space of concrete where the dense, super-sized rolls of two-ply used to be.
Sad. Also annoyed.
Day 3: Should I order online?
Saturday, March 7, 2020
This is a mortifying consideration, but I’m hearing some people are ordering high-demand goods online: Should we actually consider this for toilet paper?
Seems absurd. Not going there.
Day 4: Thought about going back on the weekend
Sunday, March 8, 2020
Popped down to SLO to visit Little Miss Cal Poly Student. She’s a second-year. Went for a hike in the South Hills. Such a cool view of the city from up there!
Thought about swinging by Costco to see if they’ve restocked the TP. Decided against.
Day 5: Took a toilet paper breather
Monday, March 9, 2020
I’m sure this crisis will be over soon and they’ll have more toilet paper by my next Costco trip on Friday.
Day 6: Maybe I’ll just order online
Tuesday, March 10, 2020:
It’s been five days, and I’m getting tired of thinking about toilet paper. Maybe I’ll just give in and order the mega-pack online.
But this is painful, because I hate paying for shipping. No Amazon Prime for Kirkland toilet paper, folks!
Checked on my phone at 9 p.m. and the site seemed to have it in stock. Yay! I think the price is higher, and I’ll have to pay $3 to have it shipped.
But I’m sitting with a cat on my lap. I’ll do it later.
Tried to order on my computer at 10 p.m. It’s out of stock. Noooooooo!
Day 7: Second visit to Costco
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
It seems like they’re restocking the stores in the morning, but I don’t have time to hang around there at 10 a.m. on a weekday.
Maybe the panic will have calmed down by the evening.
Hahaha. Nope.
Costco has filled the empty TP space with many pallets of bottled H20, which people are loading into their carts because apparently the next domestic coronavirus crisis will be the water company turning off our taps.
I am NOT hoarding water.
Day 8: Tried online again
Thursday, March 12, 2020
The Costco website can’t seem to decide what’s in stock and what isn’t.
Sometimes, the search for “toilet paper” brings up six hits and a variety of options like Charmin and whatnot. Sometimes the Kirkland brand is there, sometimes not.
Let me be clear: I am NOT buying another, more-expensive brand. Who do I look like, Donald Trump?
Day 9: Third visit to Costco
Friday, March 13, 2020
It’s been a full week since I started this quest. Home supply is down to four rolls.
At our normal rate of consumption, that still gives us at least a week. There are 425 sheets per roll after all.
KSBY reported a line down the parking lot waiting to get into Costco this morning. Sounds like every person there was buying toilet paper and many didn’t even NEED it! You people are the problem!
Couldn’t get there until 7 p.m. ... OF COURSE there is no TP.
There are, however, thousands upon thousands of individual, single-use water bottles, tucked in all kinds of random spots around the store. Even more than Wednesday. Huge line of pallets in the frozen food aisle. More in a corner by the stock door at the back. Argh!
Made it home despite rising anxiety.
Discovered a rando six-pack of some 100% recycled chlorine-free brand of TP has appeared in our closet.
Is there a new age toilet paper fairy at work? Can they deliver 30-packs from big-box stores, too?
Day 10: Still none online ...
Saturday, March 14, 2020
Woke up this morning. Mentally broken.
Searched costco.com for “toilet paper.”
Yielded one result.
For Kleenex. Which is also out of stock, btw.
Losing all hope
Forgetting to end sentences with periods
Just don’t have the energy
Next step is rationing
Maybe will have to triple and quadruple fold
Sendhelp
This story was originally published March 14, 2020 at 1:20 PM.
