A law giving caged chickens more room? Only in California

First of all, I need to remind those who have forgotten that I was a poultry husbandry major at Cal Poly in 1957.

I grew up in the poultry industry, being one of two sons of parents who had poultry farms producing mostly eggs. When the price of eggs dropped drastically, I can remember helping my dad as we converted the hen houses over to producing “meat” birds. At the age of 11 I was helping set out baby chicks: dip the bird’s beak in water, then the mash, inoculate via a drop in one eye and scoot them beneath the heat lamps.

And yes, we raised our egg-laying hens in cages, four of them to a small area. I don’t remember exactly, but probably one square foot per bird. I’ve cleaned and boxed thousands of eggs through my most formative years (high school).

I have written repeatedly in the past about how passionately I hate chickens.

You can imagine how silly it seemed to me that in 2008 California voters approved a measure to require that chickens be given more room — enough to get up and down and spread their wings comfortably without touching either the edge of their cage or a fellow bird.

I was astounded when the ballot measure passed. But then again, I live in California. I should have seen that coming.

Come on, folks, they’re only chickens. Chickens don’t have teeth or lips and, among other things, you can fool them into laying more eggs by turning the lights on in the hen house so the day seems longer to them.

Come this Thursday, all that is supposed to change. Backers of the law reasoned we’d have healthier chickens if they had more room to literally spread their wings.

I do not know whether happy chickens lay more eggs. How do you know if a chicken is happy? We humans don’t know what all that clucking is about. You can’t see their lips moving (see above; no lips) so we don’t even know if it is a joyous sound coming from either the caged birds or those allowed to wander around in, say, a barnyard setting. They sound the same to me.

I know the new law applies to other farm animals as well. Can we expect roomier corrals for beef cattle in their final days at the feedlots? Will the smaller dairy farmers who milk by hand be required to wear warm mittens?

And regardless of how much room an egg-laying hen has, when it quits laying eggs for its owner, it then transitions to a “meat” bird, as in Sunday night dinner.

Then we get into the discussion of the best way to end the life of a chicken that can no longer produce eggs, or the dairy cow that no longer produces milk. Maybe they just go to great big farms where both are allowed to die a natural death.

Sound stupid? Hey, this is California.

This story was originally published December 29, 2014 at 1:42 PM with the headline "A law giving caged chickens more room? Only in California."