Should family members exposed to COVID cancel visit to SLO County? How I made my choice
It was the kind of decision nobody wants to make.
Should family members who bought airline tickets long ago — but who had been exposed very recently to COVID-19 — be allowed to visit?
Since early 2020, Son Brian and I have been as pandemic careful as we could, wearing masks — even in places and at times when we were scoffed at and sometimes even confronted for doing so.
We both have some increased health risks when it comes to potentially serious illnesses.
So we avoided large crowds. When we did socialize, which wasn’t often, we nearly always did so with just a few equally careful people at a time.
We hadn’t planned any big parties or gatherings at home.
Most importantly, our resident imp and party instigator — my husband of 44 years — had died on Dec. 5 two years earlier.
It seemed that, all around us, others were getting together in groups to go wine tasting, share football tailgating or have impromptu dinner gatherings, but we couldn’t get motivated to launch our own festivities.
It was a bit discouraging, even depressing.
What kept us somewhat on track was knowing that two sets of family members would be joining us two weeks apart.
Regrettably, both groups had their own issues that dampened spirits — theirs and ours.
In the case of the first couple, they learned two days before their trip to Cambria that one of their mothers has a life-threatening health challenge.
The couple came anyway but arrived a day later than planned and then left the next morning, after being here for under 24 hours.
We were glad to be able to be supportive and maybe provide them with a few moments of distraction, but nobody felt celebratory. We were all too worried.
After they left, Brian and I got through the emotional rollercoaster of my late husband’s birthday and my wedding anniversary by focusing on the fact that his brother Sean, wife Jenny, her 12-year-old son Nico and 11-year-old nephew Nolan would be here soon, bringing suitcase-loads of laughter, silliness and glee with them.
We finally began to feel more festive. We packed their time here with plans to see the Piedras Blancas Light Station, go on a Hearst Castle tour and wander through an outdoor light show.
COVID-19 exposure, weather threaten family visit
Two days before their flights, their visit threatened to unravel.
Amid wicked weather and a tidal wave of airline cancellations, there were problems with Nolan’s flight from the Midwest. There was no way for him to get from there to here in time.
Even worse, Sean, Jenny and Nico learned that they’d spent a good part a day with two people who tested positive for COVID-19 two days later.
Our group’s test results were negative, and they were feeling fine.
Still concerned, they asked if we wanted them to stay home, or if we could devise ways to keep ourselves safe while they flew in and spent the next three days and nights with us.
We agonized, flipping between making a safer but lonely decision, or taking the risk so we could finally enjoy a few happy, silly days with people we love so much.
All the health pros told us that, at a minimum, our guests should wait at least three days and test again, but the family’s visit could still be a huge gamble, because the virus can take longer than that to take hold and show up on tests.
The family’s plane was due to leave in a few hours, and shifting their tickets to another day would not only be expensive and counterproductive timewise, it would have been highly unlikely at that late date.
Relatives come after negative tests
Crossing our fingers, we took the gamble.
As one of my best gal friends keeps telling me, eventually we all have to start living.
The three of them tested negative for COVID-19 right before they left for the airport. They ate dinner out, on their own, after they arrived. We all wore masks and tried to maintain six feet of distance between us.
Sean’s youngest daughter Alyssa arrived later that night, and finally we relaxed just a bit. They’d all gotten here safely, their tests were negative and we were determined to make the most of our time together, even with pandemic concerns lurking in the background.
Of course, it wasn’t completely clear sailing.
The lighthouse tour was canceled due to the rain. We got drizzled on at the crowded light show, which was spectacular anyway.
However, the weather was perfect for the Hearst Castle tour and they all loved it.
When it rained, there were jigsaw puzzles, board games, books, naps, meals to cook together and a stubborn gingerbread house that didn’t want to stay glued together in the high humidity.
Yeah, Christmas was over, but there’s no use-by date on having fun.
Our time together and the fact that none of us came down with the virus (even a week later) were the bonus gifts from a holiday we hadn’t been able to share, our own personal mega-whatever jackpot wins.
Have Brian and I thrown pandemic caution to the wind since then? Not a chance.
We still mask up in public. We shy away from big crowds when possible; wash and sanitize our hands frequently; stay home when we feel yucky and take all the sensible precautions we can.
Would we take the same risk again? Without a doubt.
Taking that leap of faith and spending time with special people we love was priceless.
Is it time to plan a Super Bowl party? We’ll see.
This story was originally published January 31, 2023 at 5:35 AM.
