‘Be grateful.’ Friends, Facebook group make it easier for me to focus on the positive
“In every life we have some trouble. But when you worry you make it double,” Bobby McFerrin sang in 1988. “Don’t worry, be happy.”
Who knew that gratitude could be contagious? Or that we could be thankful for some rather strange things?
For instance, I appreciate social media.
Really, Kathe? When we’re besieged by so much online negativity, grouchiness and downright combativeness?
I’m enjoying the social media experience a lot more since I convinced myself that I’m not on those sites to change someone else’s mind when we disagree, and that it’s toxic and unproductive to join an exchange that would constitute a sickening shouting match if spoken out loud.
It’s simple, really: I can’t control what other people say or do on social media or elsewhere, but I can control my reaction to it. That’s the old “You can make yourself happy or you can make yourself miserable” theorem translated into cyberspace.
I’d rather be upbeat, thank you. Even when somebody else is clearly being a jackass.
Sure, staying grateful can be hard to do. I’m not blindly Pollyanna about every single minute.
There are, after all, hard times when nothing seems to go right, when tragedy strikes or worries wind up in the driver’s seat. Illness, financial woes, family upheaval, legal problems, even something as simple as a bummer flat tire can turn an emotionally sunny day into stormy one filled with clouds, wind and uncertainty.
But, about a year ago, a longtime friend (aka pre-Facebook) helped me accentuate the positive.
Jennifer Franco Smith had a ton of “downers” on her plate when she made the conscious decision to concentrate each day on at least three things that made her happy — three things for which she was grateful. She wrote them down and posted them, often with a pretty picture or uplifting meme.
I started doing the same, as did Evelyn Morales, Charmaine Coimbra, Elaine Beckham, Consuelo Macedo, Janis Hudler and about two dozen others.
We don’t post as often as our gratitude guru does, but we’re inspired by her regular journaling. We comment often and join in as frequently as possible, blogging about how life, happenstance and our own efforts have made us happy that day.
Our Facebook Gals’ and Guys’ Gratitude Group (GGGG) is a bond-strengthening exercise. Each of us knows that the others are attempting the same mental rearrangement every morning and all day: Don’t let life’s worries, woes and negatives determine our attitudes about that day.
And when it’s more of a struggle to find positivity? When it’s all too easy to be overcome by stress and worry, overwork and underpay, unending obligations and “to-do lists,” health issues and bills to pay, too many responsibilities and no time to be me?
That’s when we have to dig really deep to find the upside of the day. I remember posting once that I’d managed to fry something without burning myself!
The bright spots of life are always there, but they can fade into the background if I’m not …. what’s the buzzword these days?
Mindful. That’s it.
So I’m learning to mentally sit myself down, shake my forefinger under my own nose and tell myself to straighten up and brighten up.
Focus on the good, the positive, the uplifting, the funny, the happy.
Look at life like an adventure, a treasure hunt, a joy. Be thankful for what we have, and don’t grouse about what we don’t.
Be grateful, Kathe.
I have a roof that doesn’t leak, food to fix and eat, people who care about me, fun things to do if I choose to do them. I live in a wonderfully gorgeous, supportive and quirky community.
I can get out of my warm bed in the morning, make that bed and get on with my day. What’s not to like?
When I’m feeling down, what can lift my mood? Family, friends and GGGGs. A lovely sunset. Wildlife in the meadow. Autumn leaves. A big wave and the smell of the sea. A favorite song. A good pun. Pelicans, otters and whales.
And especially positive, cheerful, funny people like my beloved Husband Richard, a stroke survivor who is my Zen master of putting aside the things that confine and frustrate him and nearly always focusing on the bright side of the day, on what he can still do and enjoy.
Remember the Bobby McFerrin song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy?”
We find the happy.
And now that I’ve mentioned that ditty, are you humming it? Sorry about that, tee hee.
But look at it this way: The lyrics are a good reminder to be grateful … and if you’re humming, you’re probably pretty happy.
PS: Happy Thanksgiving a little early!
