It’s a long walk to achieving sexual assault awareness

While I was aware of the statistics out there, until my hypnotherapy training, I hadn’t really visualized what 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men looked like … who’ve experienced sexual assault. In the intimate setting of our classroom, the pain and suffering of these individuals was truly heartbreaking. Add to that, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will suffer intimate violence. Twenty-four people experience domestic abuse every minute. I, myself, have not been immune.

It came to my attention recently that two incredibly crucial organizations in our county, SARP (Sexual Assault, Recovery and Prevention Program) and the North County Women’s Shelter and Resource Center merged their nonprofits in 2013 (where have I been?) to better serve an astonishingly high percentage of locals.

Jesse Torrey, associate director of the newly formed RISE (Respect Inspire Support Empower) told me about the alignment and new name.

“We wanted people to know that sexual assault and intimate partner violence does not just affect women. We wanted that to be clear.

“We also wanted people to feel more positive when seeking services here. Obviously we’re not trying to discount the problems we’re addressing, but they are feeling bad enough — we want to help them from the get-go with healing.”

Very passionate about this issue, she continued, “April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. We are trying to get the word out through events like the Walk a Mile In Her Shoes (April 16 in Paso Robles and April 30 in San Luis Obispo) to bring light to the fact the culture of abuse and violence is far too prevalent.

“This is a difficult topic for most people to talk about. Everyone wants to just sweep it under the rug because ‘it’s always gone on, anyway’ and that has got to change.

“While it is generally looked at as a gender-based issue, we need to look at the men. They have a unique role in shaping our culture and guiding people to understanding that men are not the enemies but allies.

“Sexual assault does not just happen to women. Men, straight or LGBT relationships all experience the same issues. Think how hard it is for women to report sexual abuse — how much harder, even, is it for men! However, that is the issue — how many people are violated and get the strength to tell someone. only to have them either doubted or ‘What did you do to bring that on?’ — they are blamed for what happened!”

Torrey laid out what RISE offers, “First, we are not law enforcement. That may make it more comfortable for some people to know. Also, we help not only the victim but family and loved ones with counseling and information on resources. There was a fellow whose girlfriend was raped and he had no idea how to help her. We gave him the words to start.

“We offer crisis services, shelter, counseling and prevention education programs, too. If you are interested in helping out, there are volunteer and internship opportunities as well. Things have to change! Getting this information out is a start.

“The reaction of the first person the victim tells will affect how they deal with it, whether they heal or report it or not — secrecy keeps it perpetuating! Start by believing them. Do not blame them for what happened. We are a society of ‘innocent until proven guilty’ so it truly is important to report it. As hard as that is, it is a step in the right direction. We are here to help.”

If you are a man, how do you look at women? What are your expectations of your fellow gender? What are you doing to promote respect and equality?

Ladies, how are you standing up for yourself? I do know — it is hard. We are all in this together.

This story was originally published April 6, 2016 at 10:17 AM with the headline "It’s a long walk to achieving sexual assault awareness."