Winter is a time for total honesty, self-acceptance

The shortest day of the year for us in this hemisphere has passed. The darkness begins to shorten its visit with us. We slowly head back into the light, as it were. Some very special friends of mine have celebrated winter solstice, but alas, I cannot make it this year. So I’m going to create my own celebration.

Yes, I’m late. But, it’s the intention, right? This is a bit of this and that, but I invite you to try it for yourself and put your own touch on it. It helps to find some good inspirational reading material beforehand — I love Pema Chodron, Thich Nhat Hanh, Tosha Silver, Rachel Naomi Remen and several others.

We tend to always look forward to long, sunny days. However, we cannot know to yearn for them unless we experience the dark. So it is with being present with our problems, our shortcomings, our pain. Examine any truths behind them: This is a time for total honesty.

Being mired in the metaphorical darkness of our lives too long makes that journey into daylight too difficult and we cannot connect with our brothers and sisters, those who are exactly who we need to find the light.

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity,” Chodron says.

And it is equally important to have that compassion for yourself!

Our bodies slow down this time of year, just as Mother Nature does, and we need to conserve energy. How much energy are you putting into your ills and dramas? Granted, there are very many troubles out there right now that cannot be avoided. But what baggage we are already carrying can make the journey even heavier. Now is a good time to shed anything that is weighing you down and making you drag your feet in the proverbial snow.

“Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you — all of the expectations, all of the beliefs — and becoming who you are,” Remen says.

Safety and awareness

Make a date with yourself, set aside this time one evening soon, to turn off your phone and let anyone concerned know you are “occupied.” Conversely, you can do this with a quiet group of friends or family! Having a little food and beverage for after your celebration is a nice idea. Find a comfortable spot to sit, turn off the lights. Be safe.

Bring awareness to the feeling of the chair on your back, your arms, any noises in the room, the temperature — these are absolutes that cannot be disputed. This is grounding. Now, breathe in fully and slowly, being aware of your chest muscles expanding and opening up, letting in light and energy. Breathe out even more slowly, noticing how things are starting to shift and settle and the gap at the end of your exhale.

What emotion does that elicit?

Continue for several minutes, being aware of whether or not you are actually breathing fully, where is it tight, where is it sore, where is it free in your body. What are you harboring in that dusty corner of your heart? Give it texture, temperature, a color.

Consider this: With the spring thaws that will surely come, so we are able to count on an emergence of sorts, a rebirth, when Earth tilts back on its axis toward the sun of our higher selves once we quit throwing up our hands to block it from view.

Who would you like to be? What is the environment you thrive in most? What is keeping you from either of these? Be sure to check in with your body when you ask yourself these questions.

“How strange to think that great pain may be impermanent,” Remen says. “Something in us all seems to want to carve it in granite, as if only this would do full honor to its terrible significance. But even pain is blessed with impermanence.”

Now, what are five positive things you can do to make this so? OK, so, one … How does that feel in your body? Be very aware of it, take graphic mental notes. Remember that sensation in your body. Breathe. Slowly. Slower. Smile and turn on the lights. If you desire, eat a little something and lots of water.

The sun always shines if you open your blinds and let it in. The seasons take their time, in their turn, but they always get there. So will you. Happy Winter!

This story was originally published December 21, 2016 at 9:26 AM with the headline "Winter is a time for total honesty, self-acceptance."