When an apology is owed, it should be given

An apology is in order for the hurtful narrative I penned regarding the fledgling, struggling Bronco football team on Sept. 22 in this opinion column. As soon as I clicked “send” and the column disappeared into cyberspace — for my editor to put in print — I felt a twinge of uncertainty.

Deep inside I worried that it might be received as too harsh on the young and inexperienced team. But I let the aim of being open and honest — after all, it is an opinion column — sway my judgment. For that, I am sorry.

A good friend pointed out that sharing raw, honest thoughts about a football team cannot be justified when words used are cutting and insensitive to others’ feelings — especially in a small community when the team didn’t deserve to be dressed down so brutally.

The mother of a Bronco football player approached me after the Bronco-Riverdale game (Sept. 24) and said the column was “over the top.” She calmly critiqued me and pointed out that all the players were trying hard to learn the game, and by writing what I did I offended parents, players and coaches.

Another friend wrote me and while he agreed that the team (early in the season) was woefully unprepared, he noted that presenting reality in the way I did “can shock people who only read the paper to feel good.” He is likely correct.

Over the past eight years or so, I have harshly criticized the CCSD (for the unbalanced, wrongheaded dearth of good stewardship), Caltrans (for its “chip seal” fiasco on Highway 1) and politicians like Donald Trump, whom I’ve criticized for bigotry, antisocial bombast and observable unworthiness to serve as the nation’s top executive leader.

But while I have tried to honestly report the myriad high school games I covered, I have eschewed describing a sports team from Coast Union in such a fashion.

The apology challenge

Meanwhile, on the subject of apologies, over the years I have been sharply disapproving of politicians, sports stars, actors and others in the public eye, when they offer shallow, self-serving apologies.

For example, we have all heard a public figure (after an embarrassing gaff or an offensive remark aimed at another individual or group) saying that he apologizes “to anyone who may have been offended.” If the apology is sincere, it should come out of his mouth something like this: “I am sorry for the unkind, unfair statement I made.” Period.

Take Monica Lewinsky’s tell-all article published in Vanity Fair a few years ago. In an attempt to apologize for her part in the liaison with President Clinton — she was a consenting adult, after all, and it takes two to tango — she said: “I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton.” Is that really an apology? Or is it an artful dodging of her personal responsibility in the affair?

When Virginia state Sen. George Allen called an Indian-American videographer a “macaca” (a derogatory, culturally offensive word) in 2012, Allen’s first response to the media was that he didn’t consider “macaca” as culturally offensive. Then the senator added: “I do apologize if he’s offended by that.”

A more honest and ethical statement from Allen — whose father coached the Los Angeles Rams years ago — would have been to simply say he was sorry. Incidentally, the media played his remark over and over, and Allen lost the election.

Then there’s former U.S. Sen. Bob Packwood, accused in 1992 of sexual harassment by several women. His superficial response went: “I’m apologizing for the conduct that it was alleged I did, and I say I’m sorry.” In time, Packwood, knowing he was about to face the ultimate humiliation — expulsion from the Senate — resigned.

Meanwhile, as to the Broncos’ learning curve in this rough-and-tumble season of football, my broadcast partner on radio, Michael McAvoy, said the team needs to take “baby steps” game by game as the players work toward improving.

They did that Friday night, Sept. 30. The previous week (Sept. 24), they lost 55-15. This past Friday they lost 66-16. But they are working at it. They show desire, but they’re playing much better teams.

This story was originally published October 5, 2016 at 10:12 AM with the headline "When an apology is owed, it should be given."