The Patten map is a farce. Will SLO County supervisors have the courage to shoot it down?

After nine hours of public commenting, map pondering and agenda spinning, the great San Luis Obispo County redistricting debate of 2021 will come down to two choices.

On the one hand, we have a reasonable plan from the San Luis Obispo Chamber of Commerce that maintains the best of the existing San Luis Obispo County supervisor districts with small, sensible changes.

On the other, we have a hack-job of a map peddled by a conspiracy of snake-oil salesmen who hope you will gobble up their garbage without actually identifying it for what it is.

The Richard Patten map — which built a back-channel consensus of conservative support faster than you can say “the election was rigged” — is now one step away from reality thanks to an orchestrated campaign by the local Republican Party, which came up with a nifty plan for county domination, downloaded the talking points to its willing foot soldiers and then turned them loose to give cover to the conservative members of the board who will cast the deciding votes.

The problem is, those who support Patten, from the people who lined up at public comment on Friday to the trio of conservative supervisors embracing core parts of the plan, either didn’t study the map to see what it does — or they just don’t care and are conducting an elaborate red herring.

They are pretending minor questions are major concerns, while other collateral damage is so inconsequential as to not even be mentioned.

In that respect, the whole premise of the Patten map is as audacious as it is indefensible, and it doesn’t solve any real problems.

What it does is unleash chaos.

The top argument is this nonsensical charade is the notion that the city of San Luis Obispo must be torn asunder and all wrongs will be righted if we can somehow keep the county seat intact, in the meantime preventing Cal Poly from being part of a North County district, like anyone with a shred of integrity really thinks either of those concerns are an issue.

Nevermind that if there’s any city that should be shared among multiple supervisors, it’s SLO.

Nevermind that Cal Poly is an island unto itself, and it doesn’t matter a damn bit which supervisor supposedly represents it.

Nevermind that by doing this, you tip a domino that creates a cascade of other self-inflicted consequences.

Here’s just one: In the new world order of the Patten map, two-thirds of SLO become the right side of a dog bone-shaped district that balances out with Morro Bay to the west.

Both of those places are incorporated cities with their own councils who represent their citizens’ needs first and foremost ahead of anything the Board of Supervisors does.

Who, exactly, would this supervisor be representing? Inmates at the County Jail? People at the county’s new safe-parking lot? A smattering of rural property owners in the Chorro Valley corridor?

That person might want to take up a new hobby like knitting or basket weaving, because they’re going to have a lot of time to think about the needs of their handful of unincorporated constituents.

Also, contrary to the narrative being shared by the Republican Party, the Patten map still splits SLO between two supervisors, even though it blatantly and falsely told its supporters to use that as reason for supporting Patten when lobbying the board.

But wait, there’s more.

The hallowed Patten map would also light a stick of dynamite under District 2 on the North Coast — perhaps the most aptly unified “communities of interest” of any we have in this county — exploding it into three pieces.

On the top end, Cambria and Cayucos carom off to join with Atascadero, for no fathomable reason. Communities of interest, they are not.

In the middle, Morro Bay joins with SLO, as noted above.

And at the bottom, Los Osos becomes the topside anchor of a truly slap-dash district that runs from the northern banks of the Morro Bay Estuary to the southern edges of Oceano, teeter-tottering over the domes of Diablo Canyon.

Oh, and that district also grabs a bite of SLO, snapping up Laguna Lake and the airport area. It’s a district without identity, carelessly cobbled together.

We’re not done yet. Want another?

In the North County, the newly crafted District 1 bundles Paso Robles, Templeton and .... Santa Margarita!

That’s because Atascadero has been neatly excised and sent to the coast.

Nevermind that Santa Margarita is just one exit down the road, tucked between Atascadero and the Cuesta Grade.

Nevermind that Santa Margarita residents shop and send their kids to school in Atascadero.

Let’s talk about those “communities of interest” again, because here’s another prime example of how that concept can be willfully abused. These two belong together.

Also, let us not forget tiny San Miguel. It likewise has been attached to the coastal district, clinging to the very northeastern corner like a piece of stray lint.

The net effect in the North County is a hopscotch between two districts that carves up the region. Santa Margarita in one. A-Town in the other. Paso and Templeton in one. San Miguel in the other.

So there you have it: your future SLO County supervisor districts — if the Republican Party has its way.

The cold, hard truth is there is no good reason to choose this map. On the contrary, there are all kinds of reasons it should have been discarded out of hand.

It’s quite incomprehensible that not only is the map in serious consideration, but its standard bearers have all they need to pull it off.

So to John Peschong, Debbie Arnold and Lynn Compton, we will only say this.

Why?

Why are you betraying common sense? Why are you throwing logic out the window? Why are you gaslighting SLO County, trying to make us believe bad is good?

As elected leaders who serve the entirety of the county, whose decisions affect some 283,000 people, you can do better than the Patten map.

In fact, you must.

When it comes time to vote, we have faith that together you will listen to your better angels, that you will not fail in your moral responsibility, that you will stand up for truth and fairness, and that you will prove to be the ethical people you claim to be.

As it did in the clerk-recorder decision — when there was an effort to seriously consider a bunch of wholly unqualified candidates for the position — it will only take one of you.

Supervisor Compton, will you be the hero again?

Supervisor Peschong, will it be you?

Supervisor Arnold, will you be the one to save the day?

The future of San Luis Obispo County is in your hands.

This story was originally published November 23, 2021 at 5:00 AM.