‘It’s hard being apart.’ SLO County woman visits husband daily through nursing home window
Debi Sokyrka doesn’t let coronavirus restrictions keep her from visiting her husband, even though she can’t go to his room.
“I come every day. I will not miss a day. I want to make sure that he’s OK,” said Sokyrka, whose husband, Steve, is a patient at Arroyo Grande Care Center. “It’s all very emotional, it’s hard. We’ve been married 32 years and it’s hard, it’s hard being apart. But it helps being able to see him.”
When she and her husband want to speak face to face, Debi Sokyrka peers through a large window at the skilled nursing home as the two chat via cellphone.
“You know, at first, I just cried for two weeks straight but then you know you just get to the point where you get over it and you know, deal with what you have,” Debi Sokyrka said. “It’s hard, but I’m just really grateful I have such a close view of him in the window and that he can still talk to me and communicate.”
Nationwide, skilled care facilities have been hit hard by coronavirus, resulting in hospitalizations and deaths.
As of Monday, three employees at San Luis Obispo County licensed skilled nursing facilities had tested positive for COVID-19, including a certified nursing assistant at Danish Care Center in Atascadero.
Two employees at Vineyard Hills Health Center in Templeton also tested positive for coronavirus. Both facilities are owned by Compass Health, which has a total of six skilled nursing facilities and two assisted living facilities on the Central Coast.
No residents of Compass Health skilled nursing facilities have tested positive for the virus, Compass Health CEO Darren Smith said in May.
Arroyo Grande Care Center administrator Harold Carder said the Compass Health property has instilled safety measures to prevent the spread of COVID-19. They have worked closely with the county health department.
“Early on we were directed to shut down all visitation just to protect our residents here and the staff also,” Carder said, acknowledging that the move has been hard on patients, family members and staff.
Some of the facility’s patients have been residents for years, and the staffers know their families.
Steve Sokyrka owned the Goldworks jewelry store at the corner of Grand Avenue and Halcyon Road and later Dynasty Gems in Pismo Beach with Debi. When symptoms of muscular dystrophy began to show, he worked as long as he could.
Having witnessed his father’s progressive disability from the same disease and the deterioration of his mother’s health as she tried to provide care at home, Debi and Steve Sokyrka did not want to manage the illness the same way.
“ I could do it as long as his knees could bend” in support,” Debi Sokyrka said. “I could get him back and forth, but when the knees stopped, that was it. He said ‘Honey, call Arroyo Grande Care Center.’ ”
The South County facility takes pride in offering something besides skilled nursing: it has a small farm that patients can see.
“Everyone here takes excellent care of him,” Debi Sokyrka said. “He loves going out to the farm, that’s his favorite thing. He’s pretty excited about going out there right now.”
Sokyrka keeps a handwritten list of favorite scriptures she can call them up on her cell phone. She shares one Bible verse each day through the window.
During a recent visit, she asked her husband “Ready?” and then displayed Revelations 21:4 on her phone’s screen.
“And He will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more,” she read. “Neither will mourning, nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”
Sokyrka looked up from her phone. “So we have a good hope to look forward to, don’t we, honey?” she asked.
“Did you like that scripture?”
Steve Sokyrka replied, “Yeah.”
His answers were short, but he was aware that there are two people visiting at the window.
Debi Sokyrka had to carry most of the conversation. “That’s a good one, that’s a nice one. And what is it you say to me every day honey?”
Her husband replied, “One more day.”
Debi Sokyrka had tears in her eyes as she responded, “Yeah, just one more day. We’re almost done. I’m so happy I get to see you through this window.”
