Why do women fall for married men? It's almost always a hurtful affair
The other woman is the butt of hurtful jokes. She’s shunned and treated with scorn. Still, women attach themselves to married men, forming relationships that are doomed to fail.
Women fall for married men for a variety of reasons. They may have low self-esteem and feel they’re not attractive to more suitable partners. Some fear commitment; if they select someone who’s out of reach, they won’t have to face rejection should the relationship end.
Married men are inherently less demanding. Because they already have wives and families to contend with, they exact less time from their mistresses.
Married men also may be viewed as more mature and experienced, able to offer more emotional and financial support.
Other women may defend their actions by saying they didn’t intend to fall in love with a married man.
“I didn’t know he was married when we first met,” one explained. Said a second: “He complained that he was so unhappy with his wife. I tried to listen and offer encouragement. The next thing I knew, I was in way too deep. It was impossible to back out.”
Whatever the cause, the outcome is the same. The other woman is mixed up in a relationship she’s not proud of. She’s forced to lead a double life as she sneaks around her lover’s family and schedules trysts when he’s supposedly away on business. She spends holidays by herself. She’s excluded from social events.
The other woman’s behavior can have a disastrous impact on his kids.
If he divorces his wife, the children will be living in two households, losing stability and friends. The mistress may console herself by saying the marriage had already soured. Yet she made the decision easier. Her presence helped lure him away.
The relationship itself is based on falsehood. No matter what he says about his spouse, he’s only portraying one side. Yes, she may be difficult, cold or demanding. He surely has his flaws, too. Besides, he’s the one doing the cheating. That speaks volumes about his moral compass.
Meanwhile, the outlook for the affair isn’t pretty. Married men seldom leave their wives, regardless of what they tell their mistresses. They have too much at stake, too many personal and financial irons in the fire. If they do leave, the ensuing relationships are tenuous at best. Some survive. Most implode under the guilt and deception they’ve created.
HOW NOT TO BECOME THE OTHER WOMAN
This story was originally published February 12, 2013 at 5:14 AM with the headline "Why do women fall for married men? It's almost always a hurtful affair."