‘We can’t be silent any longer.’ Why it’s time to speak out on key issues

The uptick in rioting, white supremacy, bullying and police brutality has left many of us feeling intimidated.

We’re increasingly afraid to voice our opinions — especially when it comes to emotionally charged topics. We fear being ridiculed or silenced.

I grappled with this fear when I recently wrote two columns about race. I worried I might seem stupid. I fretted I might offend.

In fact, the opposite happened. Scores of emails poured in saying, “Kudos!” “Thanks for speaking up!” and “I agree 100%!”

You see, silence equals tacit approval. Saying nothing in effect says, “I agree,” even if your brain may be thinking something different.

Still, inaction creates a vacuum that invites in the opposition.

I’m convinced that we can’t be silent any longer.

Hatred and bigotry have gone way too far. It’s time for thoughtful people to suit up and bring sanity back to the game.

Being scared is the conduit for extremism. Cowering is exactly what bullies want.

Their blustering and bravado are intended to subdue us so their outrageous behaviors can persist.

But just because one group is vocal doesn’t mean their opinions are right. In fact, there’s a direct correlation between vocal decibels and irrational viewpoints.

Instead of being passive bystanders, wringing our hands and bemoaning the latest sound bite, we need to become emboldened, making it clear the madness must stop.

Write letters to the editor of the newspaper. Volunteer to work at polling places. Post signs on your front yard.

Make it crystal clear where you stand.

Express yourself in a manner that increases the likelihood others will listen. Ranting and lecturing are seldom impactful. Threats and misinformation only mimic the other side.

Below are suggestions I gave to couples who wanted to improve their communication skills. They work equally well when dealing with political opponents.

Stay calm. Yelling and anger quickly derail the communication process, while staying calm elevates your status and invites participation. Wait until you’re calm to start the dialogue. If you start to lose it, back away until you’re under control.

Be respectful. Name-calling, bullying and insults are never appropriate and stop communication in its tracks. Treat listeners as fellow human beings, no matter how divergent your views.

Be a good listener. Even if you disagree, the speaker deserves to be heard. Your close attention signals willingness to work together, a key factor to successful communication.

Rely on data. Sure, you may harbor strong feelings, but excessive emotions undermine your argument. Know your topic and back it up with facts.

Avoid shouting matches. They achieve nothing and leave two wounded parties in their wake. Back away gracefully if your opponent insists on escalating. They’ll end up looking foolish.

Look for common ground. You may disagree on key issues, but there’s still plenty you have in common. Regularly point out similarities — “We both think there are too many deaths caused by firearms” — then return to the problem at hand.

Accept divergence. You’ll never agree on all issues, but everyone benefits when you decide to be allies in the political process.