‘You’re not smart enough.’ What the college admissions cheating scandal teaches kids

For months, we’ve watched the college admissions cheating scandal unfold on the evening news.

Hollywood A-listers and entrepreneurs bribed university officials and falsified their kids’ test scores in hopes of getting those same offspring into the country’s top-tier schools.

It’s certainly not the first time we’ve seen the tarnished underbelly of the beautiful and famous. But this issue is different. It doesn’t center on the typical acts of avarice and degeneracy that most of us simply tune out.

No, this one involves the perpetrators’ children, dragging them unwillingly into the limelight as victims of their folks’ shameless acts.

Most of us would do anything — yes, anything — to protect our children.

Without hesitation, we’d take a bullet, step in front of a truck or donate one of our body’s organs to keep them healthy and safe.

We also do our utmost to make sure they’ll be happy and successful when it’s time for them to move out of the house.

If one child is a natural leader or another kid loves working on cars, we might steer them in directions that play to their personal strengths.

In the same breath, we’d avoid placing our offspring in situations where they’re less likely to thrive. A student who struggles with reading is probably not a good candidate for advanced placement English.

That’s where I’m flummoxed by these high-powered parents’ actions. Attempting to enroll their high school seniors in colleges that are too rigorous sets those kids up to fail.

They’re likely to flounder and ultimately drop out of the programs they’re not meant to be in in the first place.

To make matters even worse, a 2018 study found that one in five college students thought of suicide in the previous year and that 9% attempted to take their own lives.

The study’s lead author, Cindy Liu, cited a combination of excessive expectations and pressure from social media as contributing factors. Parents should be doing their best to help mitigate unnecessary stressors, not be the primary source of stress.

Finally, imagine the message that college admissions cheating sends to children.

Try this on for size: “Your test scores weren’t high enough, so I hired someone else to take your exams for you.”

Or this: “You’re not smart enough to get into a good school, so I had to bribe an official.”

And what about this? “Who you are is not good enough in my eyes. I need you to be so much more.”

Of course, I’m not privy to the conversations that take place in these folks’ homes.

I’ve never heard how they talk to their children. I’m basing my opinions on what I see and read in the news.

Still, it doesn’t take a Ph.D. in family relations to understand the toll these allegations will take.

I’m hoping that everyone heals as quickly as possible from the trauma this event has caused. And my heart aches for the young people who have been dragged through the collegiate mire as a result of it.