Letters to the Editor

Tips for buying cards

A fellow told me the other day that it took him 30 minutes to pick out a greeting card. I about laughed out loud.

Since then it occurred to me that the young men of today need a little eyeopening from a grandfather type like me. Now, I just came through the card season in my life. It started with my wife’s birthday in January, then Valentine’s Day, and now I’m staring down the muzzle of our 33rd anniversary . It’s like maneuvering past Boardwalk, Parkplace and those green properties in Monopoly.

So if you’re a wimp that can’t seem to figure out his role, it’s this simple: Take out the trash, keep your mouth shut and leave the toilet seat down. But there’s rules for card buying also:

1. Don’t buy the first card you pick up (even if it’s the one you like the best) because it would mean you didn’t care enough to choose the perfect one.

2. The fourth card isn’t necessary, because we all know every card is a good one.

That leaves you with the second or third card. Just choose one and you’re out of there in five minutes.

So man up guys, just because you don’t live in Texas doesn’t mean you don’t have an obligation to act like real men.