Cambrian: Opinion

Computer matchmaking for my sons

So, once the pitter-patter of little feet has disappeared from your halls, one begins to imagine the pitter-patter of morefeet. Thus the mind wanders.

Hand wringing about your baby’s well-being, out in the big bad world. My youngest is turning 21 this month. Neither he nor the older son were home for Christmas, so it’s time to make the trek up to Oregon to get my fill of them (well, it hardly will be my fill, but a dose at least).

So I was joking around recently, you know the kind of joking where it’s inappropriate or you really mean it but you don’t really? Yeah, that—was wondering if there was a dating site mothers could register on for their sons. Is that bad to wonder?

I would no more step into either of my sons’ lives in this regard than I would have had anyone do so into my own. I may have asked more questions about some girls than others, but neversaid they could or could not see whomever they wished. I’ve liked them all.

Both my boys are handsome and bright and just fine. It’s just a mother’s musings and ramblings, I assure you. However, I always have that tickle in the back of my throat of concerns for the future of my children. Isn’t that what we all ultimately want for our kids, for them to be healthy and happy? Sometimes I get that whole arranged marriage thing!

Imagine a website: “My son is of average height, beautiful eyes, easy to laugh and very intelligent, likes the outdoors. The ideal girl would be just like me: not too unpleasant to look at, strong, easy-going, full of domestic skills, would like anything my son likes and just generally be a joy to be around. While I am not determined to have grandchildren, I would most certainly welcome one or two!”

There, is that so bad?

I’m making myself laugh. Ladies, you just wait until your little darlings grow up! If you’re lucky, they have some rare luck and get their schooling taken care of easily, fall into their dream job and find a nice girl right off the bat and settle down. Boring on some levels, not completely realistic on others.

The other thing at issue is: Who am I to say that just because I always wanted to be with that special someone that they aren’t stronger than that, more self-reliant? Oh, I suppose I might drop the topic on occasion.

Just checking.

Frankly, there should be a site for kids to hook up their single moms. But it might sound something like: “Wanted, a guy who can handle a covertly controlling gal, easy to laugh, strong, full of domestic skills, likes the outdoors, spontaneous. Tie-dyed wardrobe a plus.” Okay, now I’m really laughing.

Thankfully, Love of My Life answered that ad.

Like I said, a tiny seed of thought can grow like kudzu sometimes. No real meat to it. But, can’t you imagine a “Saturday Night Live” skit like that? Maybe I’ll pitch it to Lorne Michaels.

Dianne Brooke’s column is special to The Cambrian. Email her at, or visit her website at