Cambrian: Opinion

Lady Tie Di: What do you say when the unspeakable happens?

I ’ve heard devastating news about two young people in town. As of this morning, I do not know the condition of one in the hospital but we do know the other didn’t survive the accident they were in. One I’ve know since he was a baby, the other since he was a toddler.

Small towns are like families. You all suffer.

Before I heard the news, I had already been thinking of writing about how parents talk to their children about death, which often comes up while dealing with pets. (I have two old cats, sisters, that are 20 years old. Should I “help” them along? I’m torn.) What do you say to your children about death?

After I heard the news, my son suggested turning the piece around and ask, “how does a parent deal with death?”

There is really nothing you can say that will change the way the parents feel, we realized. What can you say? “I’m sorry for your loss,” is what comes to my mind. “Know that I am here to listen.”

Please know that this touches us all in some way, even if it’s just a wakeup call to hug your special ones a little tighter each day. I cannot ever imagine the hole that must be in your hearts right now, how many holes are getting poked open in the hearts of others who have experienced this themselves. Again, I’m sorry.

All I can do is send love your way. I send love into the cosmos every day to try and touch my friend up north who lost her husband, to a friend here in town who has just gone back into the hospital, to my friend in Santa Maria who is fighting the good fight for her health, too.

As corny as it sounds, I send it out day and night for creatures big and small for it is those who are weak, are sad, are helpless, or scared that need it most. I hope that others also will do this daily that it may set the current in the universe on a more positive course.

We all need it, all the time. That is how I address the loss.

How thankful we are for the time this being was in our life. What did we learn from them? How did they touch our life?

We are all fields of energy. That energy never disappears. It becomes part of everything around us. It may very likely become part of something tangible and recognizable to us at some other point in our life, or in the next life.

Whatever your beliefs, whatever brings you solace, I send blessings that it serves you now. I do know, for certain, that love is the greatest salve of all. Again, I send you bushels.

Dianne Brooke’s column is special to The Cambrian. Email her at, or visit her website at