Today, the Waste Confidence Show is coming to town. Sponsored by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, the Waste Confidence Directorate is making a countrywide tour to explain its amazing product, the 600-page-long Generic Environmental Impact Statement — “generic” meaning “one size-fits all.”
As there still is no final place for nuclear waste, the idea is that once someplace is indeed found, this magically potent and officially approved GEIS can just be plugged in, and no one will have to worry anymore about environmental impacts at that wherever place.
What if they decide to put it on the moon? Or inside a fracked well, or in your backyard, or on top of an unclimbable mountain? Or maybe they will design another Cassini space shot and shoot it off into space? Never mind wherever — the GEIS is ready to tell us now whatever those impacts will be.
Meanwhile, they will put the nuclear waste on trucks and trains to transport it in the interim to some alsostill-unfound place. Fancy being stuck on the freeway behind one of those trucks.
So come one and all to see the show — 6 p.m. today at the Courtyard Marriott. Voice your confidence.