I notice with interest that the county Board of Supervisors has called for a delay in the installation of those wireless SmartMeters. A few California cities and counties have actually tried to ban the installation of those meters.
I just want PG&E to know I love mine.
Since my new meter was attached to the electrical panel on my house several months ago, I have embraced it repeatedly. I especially subscribe to the possibility that the meter’s electromagnetic emission might have some kind of influence on our actions. That’s the part I love.
I use it, for example, to explain things to my wife that I wasn’t able to explain before.
Take Friday, for example. She wondered why the garbage from the kitchen only got as far as the corner of the garage instead of to the Dumpster where it belongs.
I remember starting toward the Dumpster. Then when I got to the corner of the garage — with the SmartMeter on the other side of the wall — I was suddenly distracted by something on the side of my ’46 Willys Jeep. I set the garbage can down, took care of the Jeep issue and went in for my nap.
It’s just so obvious the SmartMeter zapped my thought process in this critical time of taking out the garbage.
That never happened before the new super-smart meter was installed.
And the SmartMeter can move objects.
I was working on a project and moving between the table saw and my workbench (separated from the SmartMeter by only 5 inches of stucco and wood). If I was standing at the saw, my tape measure was over on the bench. So I walked over and got it. A few minutes later I needed the tape measure at the workbench, and there it was, sitting on the table saw. Something was moving it.
Oh sure, there are probably some very minor negative impacts as I go into the fourth or fifth month since my SmartMeter arrived, including increased ear hair, more absent-mindedness and the fact my truck mysteriously refused to start one morning last month.
Without the presence of my SmartMeter, all these actions would just be the result of my getting older and more easily distracted. But the meter gives meaning to all my less-than-stellar actions of late. I think the meter even made it harder to hear my wife when she talks to me.
I don’t want to sound too melodramatic here, but the only way government officials will get my SmartMeter is when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Lon Allan has lived in Atascadero for nearly four decades. His column appears here every week. He can be reached at 466-8529 or email@example.com.