About the Colony

Not so tech savvy

The TribuneMay 20, 2013 

Lon Allan

THE TRIBUNE

For those of you who have followed my evolution over the past 40-plus years, you know that my technical savvy has been virtually static.

I was reminded of all this recently when I came across a drawing of man’s evolution.

I was looking at that pictorial depiction of the evolution of man, from walking on all fours, then his knuckles, partially erect, stooped and finally standing tall. I’m somewhere between the knuckle-walking guy and stooped. I’m still ahead of chickens, whose brains have yet to evolve. And they don’t even have teeth or lips yet.

The fact I’m even using a computer to compose these words bears testimony to the brilliance of Bill Gates and all the others who devised software that even chimps like me can use.

I’ve evolved just enough to be able to use this machine, but I still don’t totally trust it. As I’ve written many times before, I still don’t trust the technology. I see it as a fancy typewriter with a movie screen. The only advantage is I don’t have to change the ribbon every few months. And making corrections is a lot easier.

I thought I was really cool when, a number of years ago, I wrote my column at home and then emailed it to myself at the office so it was waiting for me when I arrived at work Monday morning.

Of course, my 8-year-old granddaughter could do it too, on her laptop, which I don’t even have.

During a recent visit I caught her looking online to see what horses might be for sale in her area. I wouldn’t be able to do that.

But I am making progress. I am slowly learning to look up information, especially on where to find parts for my 1946 jeep.

I’ve evolved just enough to know that not all websites are created alike. Some are very user friendly, for us knuckle draggers, and others much too confusing.

And it could be I’m too literal for the computer. Recently I saw a line on the computer that said “click here for an instant home loan.” I clicked. It’s been two weeks and nothing has arrived in the mail. By the way, I love the mail. I don’t care if they stop Saturday delivery. It’ll make Mondays that much more exciting to see what finds its way into my post office box.

Needless to say I don’t tweet or Twitter. I don’t know how to get on Facebook and I never link up when asked to do so by friends or my own children.

I believe that for me, at least, ignorance is truly bliss.

Lon Allan has lived in Atascadero for nearly five decades and his column is published weekly. Reach him at 466-8529 or leallan@tcsn.net.

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