The overwhelming message of the Republican convention was: President Obama failed. Never mind that on his inauguration day, Republican lawmakers (Paul Ryan included) met to plot how to defeat Obama in 2012. They pledged to obstruct and block every one of his policies, and they did it! They filibustered more than 300 bills, voted “no” on everything. They were willing to sabotage our economic recovery to win this election!

At the convention, Ann Romney spoke emphasizing her love for Mitt, leading to their happy marriage. (Sorry, gays and lesbians, they don’t condone happy marriages for you.) Gov. Nikki Haley bragged that her state passed strict voter I.D. laws. (You know, preventing nonexistent voter fraud.) Gov. Susana Martinez boasted that, at 18, she guarded the Catholic Church bingo games — carrying a.367 Smith and Wesson Magnum. (Seriously?)

Condoleezza Rice documented her impressive rise to become secretary of state. As a child, she couldn’t eat at a Woolworth’s counter. Antidiscrimination laws changed that. (But Paul Ryan believes “Our rights come from nature and God, not government.”) Romney’s mom told him women should have a say in great national decisions. (But forget those concerning their bodies.) Paul Ryan’s speech won the award for most “Pinocchios.” Way too many to enumerate here.