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Linda Lewis Griffith: Daily drama leads to nonstop stress

Theatrics can create personal melodrama; try these tips to help bring your life back into control

Linda Lewis Griffith is a local marriage and family therapist. For information or to contact her visit lindalewis griffith.com.

STRATEGIES TO LESSEN THE DRAMA IN YOUR LIFE

Want to phase out most of the drama? Then consider the following tactics to create a calmer you:

• Analyze situations. Not every problem requires our attention. In fact, very few of them actually do. If one does, it’s important to attend to it. If it doesn’t, give yourself permission to say NMP (“Not My Problem”) and leave it to some one else.

• Recognize drama-filled thoughts. Drama begins between the ears, when self-talk becomes agitated in response to a particular stimulus. For example, if someone makes a rude remark, you may feel upset and want to respond with another mean statement. Identifying the thoughts for what they are — agitated thoughts — allows us to encapsulate the mayhem and explore alternate ways of behaving.

• Avoid gossip. Gossip is the act of reveling in and passing along another person’s personal drama. It is inherently accompanied by unfavorable emotions, such as hostility, condescension and jealousy. Steering clear of gossip sidesteps psychological pitfalls and frees the mind for calmer, healthier images.

• Don’t overreact. Drama is fueled by exaggeration. Statements such as “This is the worst possible thing that could happen to me” make you feel bad and out of control. Replace exaggerations with less emotional responses. You’ll feel less stressed and more empowered.

• Limit media exposure. Drama is addicting, and every form of media is clamoring for your attention. Don’t succumb to their influence. Select a few specific programs to watch, then do something more serene.

• Practice daily relaxation. Relaxation allows you to quiet your mind and momentarily turn off the drama playing continually in your brain. Meditation, deep breathing or progressive relaxation are all great ways to silence the theatrics and bring you greater peace of mind.

— Linda Lewis Griffith

Humans have been attracted to drama since the beginning of time. The Babylonians wrote myths on clay tablets as early as 700 B. C. The Greeks created Zeus and Mount Olympus. Shakespeare wrote plays about the antics of both kings and common folks.

Drama continues to entertain us on the screen and stage even as real-life drama plays out before our eyes. Soldiers return wounded from war in the Middle East. Full gas tanks become household luxuries. More homes go into foreclosure. The candidates exchange punches in their bout for the White House.

Our personal lives are packed with drama, too. Loved ones struggle with life-threatening illness. Crying babies keep us awake at night and bleary-eyed during the day. Bosses give us unfavorable reviews. Ex-spouses request yet another custody hearing.

Can’t get enough

With all these things going on, you’d think we’d be craving R&R. Instead, we’ve grown immune to the chaos that surrounds us and seek out new ways to keep personal mania at its max.

Think of the millions who watch reality TV, getting weekly fixes for their drama habits. Or consider those of us who read celebrity magazines, clamoring for the next tidbit about Britney or Brangelina. Even the nightly news plays into our quest for titillation, relating stories about horrific disasters and the newest potential health threat. On top of all this, there are people who create their own drama by making repeated foolhardy decisions, behaving in outlandish ways, stirring up needless controversy or overreacting to the most innocuous event. They claim to be distraught by all the bedlam. Yet they continue in their well-worn patterns, fanning the flames of drama with every move.

The end result of all this daily drama and created melodrama? Nonstop stress. Sufferers are edgy and angry. They may harbor unjustified fears. The least mishap feels overwhelming. Every day is out of control.

Test your limits

To determine if you’re a drama junkie, read the following statements:

• I love hearing juicy gossip.

• I watch every episode of American Idol (or another reality TV show).

• I get really angry when people say and do stupid things.

• I have a hard time not getting involved in other people’s problems.

• I’m often upset by the decisions others make for themselves.

• I get bored if there’s not a lot going on around me.

• I spend a great deal of time trying to figure out other people.

• I have a hard time relaxing.

If few of these statements describe you, then drama probably isn’t your thing. You don’t get too involved in personal mayhem and keep excitement at arm’s length.

But if they’re as familiar as a memorized script, then you may be making theatrics an unnecessary way of life. Learn how to let separate yourself from all the action. And save the drama for the stage.